Sunday, October 30, 2005

Pete had to be the only sane creature in the house at the time. Dr.V's iguana just roamed pleasantly around the manor, feeling free to explore warm spots and sample some of the native food of the area. I kept trying to organize the house, but I couldn't even manage to change light bulbs, let alone change my clothes. These files were vast and far too complex for me to understand. There were sections on light, energy, time, matter, and so forth. There was too much theory and "V" speak. I could not absorb it all at once. All of my attention was focused on this one thing, yet I felt so foggy and displaced. I gave up drinking to snap out of my inebriated madness. I'm saving my ticket stub, however, just in case I want back in that toxic carnival.

Drinking draped a fuzzy blanket over my mind, making me nowt but a lazy sod, as my english "nanna" would say. But, quitting made me feel so irratible. They say that the first step is the hardest. They would tell me to get out of the house and get some fresh air. They were watching me and trying to analyze me. I wish "they" would just shut up, I remember thinking. Being alone has made one thing clear to me: everyone that you try to shut out of your mind finds a way to get back into your head, one way or another. But, this was more than just internalized cliches from parents and other nagging heavies. Someone was watching me. I could hear them, but my eyes were just to slow to keep up with their pace to see them entirely. I thought that I was plagued with ghosts before, but it was not so. Something that I read in the files started to make sense to me then.

Out of the walls of the study came voices, faint, yet piercing, "Help me...HELP ME!"

"What...who's there?" I didn't get an answer back. Who needs help? Do I know that voice? The cry for help was familiar, but distant still. Clear as a bell, but still too far fetched to sort out. My mind was making things up, weren't they? Something in the files had my mind rushing at the time. As clear as a goose fart on a muggy day to me a minute ago, but now, crystal baby--freakin' crystal! Waves of light, images, bouncing around, coming in and out of focus. What about all this light, time and matter stuff? I'm still not 100% sure, but here's what I knew at that point: whatever Dr. V worked on had something to do with slipping in and out of time and dimensions. I wondered, if unaware, could you mistake the energy of another dimension bleeding through for ghosts and goblins? I felt that all of the flashes of light and sounds in the manor weren't random, as if there was intelligence directing it all. Not ghosts, but something or someone was trapped in-between planes and trying to get my attention.

I really don't know where I was getting this information that provoked my thoughts. It was like Muzak, being piped into my head. Gently fluid--when there was overflow, I didn't feel fatigued--it just rolled warmly over my head. I was seeing a gem from the inside out. It was beautiful, but I could not define its shape or make any connections yet. I was in there, right in my own noggin; however, stewing around with something, someone else. "Dr. V? Where are you? Are you in here? Talk to me! I'm a little teapot short and stout. Here is my handle. Here is my spout. I'm tossin' my nuts around in here, dammit!" I threw myself back into my studies before I had a total crack-up.

The study was a better place for reading and thinking than my room (I went with the "brown" one after all; it has a large closet and bathroom). I was pulled up to a large mahogany desk swinging back and forth in a button-tufted leather chair. The high back and arms of the chair were slick from my perspiration. The green lens from the desk lamp was all the artificial illumination the room needed. The fireplace was stoked and giving off plenty of natural ambiance and heat. This is my quiet and contemplative room where all the important discoveries are made. I'm no Dr. V, but I'm getting by for now. Back then, however, things were coming along haphazardly.

Complexities aside, Dr. V's files made for an interesting read. Not only do they discuss slipping in and out of dimensions, but of time itself. I'm naive. I reason that's why I can accept such preposterous ideas. It's making more sense why Dr. V chose me: I'm ignorant enough to believe in his work. I don't think that any of his peers would've thought him right in the mind, though. Dr. V's whole theory was that the phase and position of time, matter, energy, and light could be manipulated through the device. But, it requires that one has the will--faith to do so first. I thought that it was about time to take the device out and observe it.

The device is rather curious, in that, it does not have dials, displays, or knobs. It has a gelatinous consistency, yet is firm enough to hold it's shape, that of a watermelon-sized kidney bean. You can hear it's inner workings gurgling away like a digestive tract. It has places, cavities, where one thrusts their hand inside in order to join with it. Organic is the term I''m thinking of; very strange this thing. The files explained little about the device. I think that this information was purposely kept to a minimum. But, the device is amazingly intuitive. However, I didn't know at the time how dangerous this thing was until I removed the device's protective sheath. What I know now is that the sheath is made of a non-conductive, semi-transparent plastic. There is a reason for this--a very important reason. My observations before removing the sheath were that of "What's this cool thing in the wrapper?" When I took my present out of the wrapper, I got juiced to the point where my blood, sweat, and tears boiled.

I can't describe just how intense the sensation really was. The best explanation that I can offer is that I felt an immense hot static sifting through my body. Maybe not pain, but an oversaturation of energy flowing into me, like an atomic powered climax, thrown in with a thousand dead legs.

The "Magic Bean", as I like to call it, assimilated my hands into it's body. It felt like I was being eaten by some strange sea creature. The device's membrane sealed itself seamlessly into my skin. My arms were now connected by a blob of glowing, pulsing machine--if you could call it that--biomechanical device. If you've ever seen a cuttlefish before, then you have a good idea of what the device felt like and what color it was when it came alive.

Upon receiving the jolt of a lifetime, I immediately saw the very fabric of reality torn right through. It made a sound similar to a pulse rocket engine, or some interstellar zipper. I can't describe what it was that I saw exactly. I don't think even Salvador Dali himself could have painted this scene. The edges of my world turned in and melted, eventually turning into a white-hot plasma. This trailed off into the other-world like tendrils of cream blending into coffee. But, the most confusing part was that there seemed to be nothing through this hole, just a rip. It was then that I saw a familiar face.

"Dr. V, is that you?" I could see him faintly within this black sea, mouthing words, then me hearing them at a great delay of time.

"Don't come in," he shouted, "I'm trapped...can't move." He strained to stay conscious while uttering some advice, "The device should not leave the sphere, Vill. It's too dangerous--it is not focused!" I was more than flabbergasted at seeing and hearing Dr. V. He was a goner, too.

Panic gripped me all over. I shouted back, "Dr. V, I...I can't turn this damn thing off...what do I do?"

"Think 'OFF', Vill--think hard! It's tapped into your mind. That's how it's controlled.", DAMMIT, OFF!!!

A great release of energy exited out of my body as the Magic Bean let go of me. The tear sealed in an instant; a bead of fire was left after the cauterization was complete. The remaining flame finally disappeared into wherever it came from, leaving part of the study deformed. A vase was fused to the shelf that it sat on, along with pictures merging part way into the wall. This seemed eerily like the infamous Philadelphia Experiment. Clocks throughout the manor were reading different times. I was overcome with hunger, yet completely drained of any energy to get up and do something about it. My flesh lost some of its pigment as well. Dr. V was right about not using the device outside of the sphere. It acts like a cosmic blender.

I left everything in its place...fell to the floor...then slept for three days straight. When I woke up, everything was different. My existence was now meaningful. I am the world's most dangerous man.


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