Friday, December 02, 2005

I can remember staring into the mirror in the master bathroom naked, trying to examine my body for changes...deformities. That first trip sucked about twenty pounds right out of me. There was this flap of skin around my waist that buckled and folded when I compressed my abdomen. It was no longer thick with fat, just thin and loose. My cheeks were hollow and my eyes were sunken in, but all the important bits on the front were still there and working fine (I checked). After seeing what can happen to things that get in the device's way, I was a little paranoid that would suffer some kind of horrid fate, where toes get fused together, or I'd have a smooth Ken doll pelvis. No need to worry, everything that should be there was there. I learned something too, I can't linger in the "big relative" for very long. I slipped into a pocket for an hour, although it felt only like minutes. Anything more would have drained me thoroughly and left me dead. So much for some kind of "Back to the Future" romp: this was superbly surreal, enormously terrifying, and dangerously addictive.

That day started out with manic binge eating, or what I recognize now as necessary fueling for this lifestyle. It sort of comes automatic: your body will not shut off the desire to eat and it knows not to pay attention to anything that is typically considered good for you. I don't know how that is different from the universal dietary struggle, but it was all rather extreme to say the least. My biological motivations have been restructured because of the unnatural stresses inflicted on my body by this seemingly living object that is the device. It demands so much from you, but it gives you so much back. I can only imagine that I'll be reducing my lifespan considerably through enduring these trips. For all that it's worth, I know that whatever time I got left in mortality, I will experience so much more than any other person that I know of. It only takes one trip to know.

My belly was full of food, yet no need to go bathroom, no gas, or anything. I could feel it absorb without protest from my system. After a few last checks on appliances, doors, and windows, I grabbed the magic bean and made sure that it was safely sealed in it's sheath. I then felt secure enough to make the trek down the Spruce Skeleton, into the well, and into the sphere. After doing the necessary combination of turns on the well's crank, I wondered if my clothes would be a hindrance. I left them cast aside by the edge of the well. Slipping into the rising water, I had an acute sense of claustrophobia again, something that I figured would take sometime to get used to. After the process of entry was over, I stood at the sphere's doorway contemplating what I was doing and what might happen to me. Resigning myself to an all or nothing frame of mind helped. This was like a moon shot times a million. I didn't know what exactly the device would do, or what really would become of me...I wasn't really aware of the true capabilities or functions of this thing. I had a strange feeling overcome me, like a fur coat wrapping around my heart. I started to cry. It wasn't because I feared the unknown, because I did. It was that I had a certain knowledge that I would make it through alright. I don't know where that feeling came from, but it was surely helpful.

Once at the bottom of the sphere I set aside the device, then flipped open the trap door to the small compartment. I needed to get the jumpsuit on. Dr. V must've anticipated there being more than just him experiencing the sphere. It turns out that there was a few more of these jumpsuits. These suits are made of a white nylon with a small amount of insulation. The waist and length are adjustable to a degree. There also were some adult-sized diapers in the compartment. This one baffled me for sure. While Dr. V was old, I knew that he didn't have any bladder problems. I thought that It'd be better if I put one on than to find out I needed it when it was too late. The diaper felt remarkably comfortable, once it was on. The suit slipped on rather well, also. I felt like an incontinent flyboy getting ready for a bombing mission.

After securing the trap door to the compartment, I stood at the very center of the bottom of the sphere wondering what to do next. The opening at the top of the sphere cast down its light onto me, but I didn't cast any shadow. This strange light had a calming effect on me...it made it easier to get on with it. Now, I did have the sense to take the sheath off and stuff it down in a pocket, so I would never lose it. My hands caressed the naked device in a manner which I can only relate to that of cradling a baby. I wasn't so sure that it wasn't a living thing. It hummed and purred this time without any of the sudden surprises that I had that first time. It didn't devour my hands either. Something about this sphere tames it, I suppose; it was on standby, awaiting my orders.

"What do I do first?" I called out. There obviously was no one around to answer me, but lately, it seems, something has been helping me out: it has been doing it quietly, but effectively. So, there I was, thinking. This thing reads my mind, huh? No, my thoughts are sent to it as commands. It's passive until I activate it, and then it's still just an extension of my mind, perhaps? Here we go, "ON!" The device obeyed.

Gently this time, the bean sucked my fingers into its body, then consumed my hands and up, over my wrists. No fuzzy overload this time, just smooth, glowing warmth pulsing throughout my body. The bean then took on its chameleon/cuttlefish light show dance. This light infected my body. I was all lit up and pulsing. My feet began to lose their grip on the surface. I thought that I might be falling over, then I realized that I was actually rising up into the air. I noticed that the shaft of light, beaming onto me from the opening at the top of the sphere, was becoming increasingly intense. But, I thought, where was this light coming from? I couldn't see any source--no bulb--no nothing. As my thoughts almost became victim to my fears and curiosities, I looked down and noticed that I had stopped at the center of the sphere.

"Host, what purpose?" An audible prompting came to me clear as a bell, ringing inside my ears. It seemed that this voice was merely a simulation of my own inner voice, but amplified.

I really wasn't sure what to do or why I was really there. Again, my basic knowledge was that this thing had the ability to manipulate time and matter, but I really wasn't aware of what time travel really was. We have a Hollywood definition and a scientific one. I have no idea what Dr. V discovered. Trying to be careful, I came up with a purpose, a reason for using the device, "Travel."

"Host is not ready for travel. Purpose?"

I didn't know what to say. I figured that I might get some information first, "This is my first time. I need help."

"Must complete trial run. Host, state purpose."

"I'm here for a test run...trial run, I mean."

"Purpose: trial run. Confirm?"

"Yes."

"Command accepted. Execute: trial run."

Weightless and full of strange energy, I began to notice that the intense light bounced and swirled around me, but the sphere contained and directed it. The swirling light became so thick around me that I could no longer see the black lining of the sphere. This vortex of light was funneling, forming into a conduit; I was trapped in the eye. A slightly dizzy sensation came over me. I noticed that my body was staying put, but somehow I was beginning to separate from it. Between my body, and what I know now for sure to be my spirit, there was some static tension resisting whatever force was pulling us apart. The separation made a funny noise, an oscillating fuzzy squeal followed by the staticy sensation that I was becoming to associate with the device. A slow ascent out of my body, a rush of cold, then all of my tactile senses suddenly vanished away. I could see my body in stasis, below my feet, but I was still tethered to my body with a stringy web of fine light. I was slowly rising, and loosing sight of my body, but still tethered. This reassured me that I wasn't dead; although, I'm sure that I was pretty much close to the edge.

Why can't my body come with me? I thought. I didn't expect an answer.

"The Spirit has less mass, is more mobile, is safer."

"Huh? Okay." Sounded good, but what did I know? Not much, for sure, I reckon.

Just about then, this realization, that while I felt like I was merely floating along, I could be traveling faster than light. "Where am I going? Just as I asked this question, I received another answer.

"Trial run destination: none."

"How long is the trial run?" I really had no perception of time now.

"Unspecified."

I didn't want to spend too much time flying around in this tube. I figured that I should err on the side of caution and return. "End trial run." I couldn't take any more of the numbness.

"Terminate trial run. Confirm?"

"Yes, I want to go back now."

Wherever I must've gone, it didn't take but a second to descend back into the sphere. I was able to discern, albeit briefly, a connection with my surroundings, while out of my body, that was beyond that of what I've ever perceived in the flesh. I saw the sphere from the outside, as if none other structure were present. It appeared as a living orb of light, harnessing the energy, completing the organism, of which I was part. This remarkable event struck me as blasphemous and unnatural, yet so heavenly and right. Are we meant to do this--man? Exploring my new found crush of intellect, I could not get over Dr. V's genius. I can't understand how even he figured this out?

After settling back into my body, I felt the grip of mortality squeeze me relentlessly. I'm so small...so hungry, too.

2 Comments:

Blogger mine2luv said...

ive stared in the mirror a few times and phsically saw my face change, it got old, it got white and drained. i looked like a old woman even tho i am only 39. my breathing got fast. i was drained after. i dont like to do it but my daughter wanted to see me do it back in december. she was told by a phycic that spirits can reach you this way. but most of the time they are not good. i went upstairs and practiced for a few min since it was a long time since i dared try. and within minuted i had tunnel vision and fright went thru me.it wasnt good so i stopped. i went downstairs and she saw right away my face looked odd. she said i looked worn out. i told her what i did. i asked her if she wanted to see me do it. i never had anyone watch me before. she watched me as i stared in the mirror. gripping the sink. i can see up and down, side to side without moving my eyes. i do not have to blink but when i do it does not happen often. she saw my face change, it distoreted. shadows under my eyes, white face, etched lines, my breathing got fast and the fright came back. i was frightened of staring any longer. i feel at that point something or someone wants to jump in me or is trying. so i break out of it and stop. it takes hours for me to feel normal and look normal..i have always had a gift of knowing when someone close to me is going to die, usually within 2 weeks of my premonition.i am not aloud to know who. i just know it is going to happen.i get extremely depressed, a heavy feeling goes from my stomache into my chest and armpits. i feel cold with goose bumps. then it passes and i feel fine. this happens on and off for 2 weeks..its odd...i can not explain it. i dont know why i can feel things. i guess some people are more in tune than others...i thought i would write this..i dont know why but your website reminded a little like me....lisa

10:25 PM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

Fascinating comment, Lisa. I rarely get treated first hand to the real aspect of the topics that interest me most (supernatural)and what eventually ends up in my stories. So, it's great to hear from people who are tuned in to that world.

I can only imagine the terror one must feel ripping through our temporal reality. I consider such experiences to be dangerous, but priceless. I hope you are in control of them. Also, I welcome your experiences. Feel free to riff on anything here. I am open minded.

Welcome Lisa, enjoy!

P.S. This is a series, so you'll have to go back to the first post for the beginning.

11:59 PM  

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